Taming the Sunday Scaries
Taming the “Sunday Scaries”: A Parent’s Guide to Easing School Anxiety
By: Lelan Lockwood-Maldonado, MA, LAC
Does the thought of Sunday evening fill you with dread? As the weekend winds down, you know the “Sunday Scaries” are about to hit your child—and, let’s be honest, you too.
It starts with the small things: a sudden refusal to get ready for bed, the demand for “just one more story,” or an unexpected tantrum over a forgotten toy. These aren’t just frustrating behaviors; they’re often a child’s way of expressing their worries about the week ahead. The anticipation of school can be stressful for kids, and as a parent, you’re caught in the middle—trying to be both comforting and firm.
You’re not alone. The good news is, you can help your child navigate these feelings. Here are four ways to make getting to school a little smoother.
1. Start with Validation: “It Makes Sense to Feel That Way”
The day before the school week begins can feel daunting for a child. They are full of questions and “what ifs.” Will their friends still want to play with them? What if they don’t know the right answer in class? These worries might seem small to an adult, but to a child, they are huge unknowns that feel scary.
The first and most important step is to validate their feelings. Instead of dismissing their worries, try saying something like, “It makes sense that you’re feeling a little nervous about school tomorrow.” This simple statement helps them feel heard and safe, creating an open door for a conversation about what’s really bothering them.
2. Build a Predictable Routine: Goodbye, Unknowns!
You can’t erase all unknowns, but you can create comfort through routine. A consistent nighttime ritual helps a child feel in control and prepared.
- Prep Together: Let your child pack their own lunch or snack and get their backpack ready.
- Plan the Morning: Talk about what they want for breakfast and let them pick out their clothes for the next day.
- Look Ahead: Chat about what subjects they’ll have and what they’re looking forward to. This helps them focus on the positives.
These small acts of predictability can significantly reduce a child’s sense of overwhelm and create a feeling of safety.
3. Connect Through Play: The Secret to Easing Tension
Leaving for school can be a stressful separation. One of the easiest and most effective ways to build a strong connection is through play.
- Dance It Out: Find a fun playlist to listen to while getting ready for bed and dance out the “night-time wiggles.”
- Create a Ritual: Invent a secret handshake or a special hug you share before they go to bed and again in the morning before they leave for school.
- Leave a Reminder: In the mornings, hide a special note, a favorite pencil, or a small treat in their backpack to remind them of your connection throughout the day.
These playful rituals help children feel safe, seen, and connected, even when you’re not physically with them.
4. Expand Their Support System: Find Other “Safe People”
While your connection is vital, other relationships at school can also be a source of comfort for your child. Encourage them to build connections with friends, teachers, and school counselors.
- Talk to Teachers: A quick email or conversation with their teacher can help you both understand what support can be offered at school.
- Facilitate Friendships: Encourage playdates or help them connect with a classmate who shares similar interests. Knowing there’s another child who also feels a bit anxious can help them feel less alone.
- Introduce Them to the Counselor: If your child is struggling, introduce them to the school counselor. This shows them that there are other safe adults they can lean on when you can’t be around.
Managing a child’s anxiety can be a full-time job, and these strategies may feel like a lot to implement all at once. Remember, you don’t have to do it all perfectly. The goal is to lay a foundation for important conversations and a supportive environment.