The question is not what’s wrong with you, it’s what happened to you?
Trauma can occur in childhood, throughout life, and/or in the present. Traumatic events can be single incidents or recurring ones, and they can be physical and emotional. Abuse, neglect, divorce, abandonment, accidents, eye-witnessing something frightening, bullying, systemic injustice – all of these experiences can cause traumatic reactions.
Reactions can be overt and obvious, like fearing certain people, places, or things – as well as experiencing an inability to effectively cope with stress to the point of life interference. Reactions can also be covert, hidden from our own understanding, where we find difficulty in integrating our lived experiences with our needs, thoughts, feelings, and oftentimes even our values. It can become difficult to form and enjoy satisfying and fulfilling relationships with others and even ourselves.
As adults, effects of childhood trauma can reemerge when we commit to partners or become parents – our words and behaviors toward partners and/or children may seem out of sync with our beliefs and desires, leaving us feeling fearful of our abilities to connect, and maybe even questioning our own worth.
Many people who have experienced trauma in the past are finding that they are being triggered by feelings of powerlessness, fear, and loss during the COVID 19 pandemic.
The overall sense of having no control over current events cues one’s nervous system to respond.
Experiencing effects of trauma does NOT mean one takes or accepts a victim stance!
Without processing the very real , and often disturbing effects of trauma, one can be left feeling alone (even in relationship), sad, angry, misunderstood, and resentful. It is imperative to reach out for help if you are suffering, as the coping strategies that once seemed to keep you safe from effects of trauma, are typically the same ones holding you back from growth and recovery.
Counselors at CFCE are compassionate, trained and trauma-informed. We want to help you make sense of your experience. We understand the uniquely personal nature of trauma. The impact can affect one’s sense of self and the (often problematic) stories we tell ourselves, rationalizing our feelings and behaviors, while often suffering shame, fear, anger, and a broad spectrum of losses.
You deserve a safe space to be heard, to learn new strategies to cope, and to begin to heal from trauma.