The Back-to-School Cheat Sheet
The Back-to-School Cheat Sheet: 5 Tips for Managing the Big Transition
By: Angela Mancao, MSW, LCSW
The August air has always had an exciting mix of relaxation and anticipation. It calls for a balance between savoring the delights of summer and planning for the upcoming changes as kids return to school and schedules shift.
The last few weeks of summer are a great time to begin preparing your children (and yourself for that matter) for back-to-school. Here are a few tips for parents and caregivers to help your children navigate the back-to-school transition smoothly:
1. Check-in with YOU
Much like the “oxygen mask” concept on an airplane, it’s imperative to check-in with yourself – your own thoughts and feelings about the beginning of the school year – before you set out to help your child transition. The beginning of the school year is a hectic time for everyone, but there certainly is a different type of pressure on parents and caregivers to reinstate the routines, plan for new activities, and manage everyone’s schedules. Be sure to check-in with yourself and your own level of stress about the upcoming transition.
Children can quickly pick up on their parents’ stress and anxieties. Be mindful of how you are feeling and engage in strategies to help you manage your stress, whether it is to balance demands with self-care activities or to limit the new commitments you’re taking on.
Some questions to ask yourself as you check-in include:
- How am I feeling right now?
- How am I feeling about the upcoming school year?
- What can I do to address those concerns?
- What do I need right now? How can I meet my need?
- What’s going well?
- What’s going not-so-well? What can I do about that?
Back-to-school mornings can be incredibly hectic, and your role is to be the calm to the chaos — this requires you to be aware of your own emotions.
The more grounded you are, the better you will be able to support your child who may feel anxious, frustrated, tired, or a combination of emotions!
2. Gradually shift your routine
Little by little, start to shift your “summer vacation” routine to the “back-to-school” routine. The laid-back summer schedule allows for maximum fun and relaxation, but it certainly creates a challenge as kids are returning to a more structured routine. Gradually reintroducing routines as the summer begins to fade can help children become acclimated to the school year more readily. Also start to shift bedtimes and wake-up times to align with their school schedule at least a week before school resumes. In addition to adjusting sleep schedules, it is important to establish regular meal times and incorporate a dedicated time for homework and extracurricular activities. Consistent routines can ease the stress of returning back to school and create a sense of stability.
While you help your child shift into the back-to-school rhythm, remember it’s important to also let them enjoy what is left of their summer vacation!
3. Help your kids get organized for the school year
Give yourself time to go back-to-school shopping and avoid the stress of shopping last minute. Help your children organize their materials for each class. For neurodivergent kiddos, it may be helpful if items are labeled and color-coordinated based on subject and that folders are organized in a way that they can easily find their assignments. Kids may also benefit from a designated, calm space that they can complete school work in.
4. Check-in with your Kids
Express your curiosity about your kids’ thoughts and feelings on school and maintain an open dialogue about it. It is important to listen for and attend to your kids’ worries.
For anxious kids, try these steps:
- VALIDATE their worries while expressing your confidence in them to be able to handle those challenges. (Ex. “I know going back to school is really hard, and I know you can do it. You’ve done it before – every year in fact!”)
- CREATE a connective ritual for when they leave for school and return home, such as creating a special handshake that you could do during those times of transition or having their favorite snack and playing music of their choice when you pick them up.
- VISIT the school beforehand to help familiarize your child to where they will be going. Check-in with connections in your child’s school to see if individual tours are available.
- PROVIDE as much information as you can about the upcoming school year to your child so they feel prepared.
- IDENTIFY a designated person in the school to connect with about your child’s anxieties who can offer support on the inside.
5. Expect Imperfection; and Practice Self-Compassion and Flexibility
Despite all the back-to-school tips you have read and all the things you’ve done to prepare for the transition, it is a universal truth that no parent or caregiver can do this perfectly all the time! You can expect bumps in the road.
By anticipating some imperfect moments, you are better prepared to demonstrate flexibility, pivot your course of action as you face the challenges, and practice self-compassion. Self-compassion allows you to speak gently to yourself in the face of difficulties, validating your own feelings and efforts, to uplift and empower you to keep moving forward. You got this!
If you are a Student preparing to return to school, here are some tips for you…
- Organize your schedule and assignments. Find a strategy that works best for you so that you can organize your activities and assignments. You may find an app that helps you keep track of your homework and due dates or you may prefer writing it down in an agenda book. It may take some trial and error to find what works best for you.
- Practice self-care to ensure your basic needs are met. In order to be able to meet the demands of the school year, make sure you get enough sleep, eat regular meals, and allot time to engage in pleasurable activities and homework.
- Ask for help. Going back to school can be tough, but you are not alone in that experience. If you have any challenges in school, such as having a hard time understanding lessons or needing clearer instructions for an assignment, you can always talk to your teacher for more guidance.
Going back to school can be tough for both kids and parents. If you or your child are finding it difficult to adjust to the school year, our therapists are here to support you by offering different types of support, including therapy for children as well as parent coaching. Contact us for an initial appointment so we can work together to make this school year (and future school years) a great one.